12/20 Update

First off Happy Holidays to everyone. Things are pretty nice here in Dayton. Its been snowing off and on for about a week and staying very cold. Heather and I have begun training for a half-marathon in April and all my Christmas shopping is done! What a wonderful month, just wish it was warmer. I look forward to having Christmas at Heather, Jeff and Cole's house. Its always fun to watch the dogs play and of course see my wonderful nephew.

I had an ultrasound today. Surprise, surprise - the cyst is still there. One large cyst on my right ovary. Its actually a little bigger than last month. No other cysts hanging around, lots of little perfect follicles. But because of this cyst and its growth they mentioned yet again the possibility of surgery to remove it. The ultrasound nurse talked to the doctor today after I left and he wants to do a more complete ultrasound with him present on January 3rd at noon. At that time and perhaps based on some blood work they will make the decision to do surgery or not. If surgery is "needed" it would be a simple one. I guess I would have the surgery, but I don't know if I really care all that much now. I am happy with my decision to adopt as my way to have a family. Do I want to have an elective surgery and all the potential complications that come along with it and then maybe a month later a new cyst comes along? The only reason I would probably do it is to make sure its not ovarian cancer, which is a small possibility.

Well, back to work now. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and stay warm.

12/4 update

Not much going on, just wanted to update.

Fertility - Ultrasound middle of next week to see if Fred the Cyst is still there. I think the option if he is there is surgery which doesn't thrill me at all.

Adoption - We are officially on the list to wait to be on the list to wait to be on the list...Family Adoption Center (FAC) uses a multi-wait system instead of 1 super long wait system. So basically we are on the list to get our homestudy done, then we will be on the list to turn in all our paperwork to Korea, then we will be on the list for a referral of a child. Once a person is referred another person moves 1 step up the list. So...until then we twiddle our thumbs until we can start the homestudy. Somethings we can do ahead of time like write our autobiography but most of the homestudy is meeting with the social worker and having her write up our worthiness. At least we know our social workers name, Jodi Rice. And also in the state of Ohio you have to attend one adoption seminar so the next one is in the Columbus area on Tuesday night, January 22 from 6 - 8 pm. It is at All Saints Lutheran Church on High St. in Worthington. So thats probably the next thing we can do. I kinda expect it to take several months before we are even on the list of people who can get their homestudy done.

Vacation Time!

Dan and I are now in Gainesville, Florida. We spend the previous 5 days in Maryland for Debbie & Joe's wedding. The whole wedding weekend was wonderful. Joe's family were such wonderful hosts and the wedding & party afterward was great! Hopefully in a few days I will have some pictures to share. I know Ophelia and Bosley enjoyed running around Debbie's huge forest backyard hunting birds, ducks and deer!

Now we are in Gainesville, and its wonderful to be home! We walked around campus today ate at our favorite places and even walked around the stadium. To my pleasant surprise Tim Tebow was on the field being interviewed by ESPN. We sat down and watched the interview take place and afterward I got my picture taken with Tim!! When we get back to Ohio I will post the picture.

Today is Dan's 32nd birthday so we will have a little party for him today and some yummy ice cream cake.

Go Gators!

Ultrasound time.

Another ultrasound, another cyst. Or I should say the same cyst. The cyst on my right ovary has been there for months now (perhaps longer, who knows only been doing ultrasounds since August). First we tried just waiting for it to go away. That didnt work. So last month we tried taking Necon. A nice middle of the road hormone pill that was supposed to just knock that cyst right out of there. Well, the cyst remains - No bigger or smaller, exactly the same. So this month we are kicking it up a notch to Ogestrel. If this stronger hormone mix doesn't do anything to the cyst the only option left is surgery. A simple same day laparoscopic surgery to remove the cyst. I named my cyst Fred, above is our picture together.

Funny thing is I am no longer upset about this stupid fertility thing. I am excited about adoption and I am moving more to if its meant to be mindset with having a baby the old fashioned way.

"A World Of Love"

I went to the library to check out some books on tape for my upcoming 2 week car trip. I thought I would check out some books on adoption while I was there. To my surprise there was a display of adoption books! It must be fate.
Or as I later found out, its national adoption month.

Anyways, I got a book called "A world of love" about a family who has one biological daughter and 3 adoptive daughters. Its just a story of the couple years while they adopted the 3 girls, how the family dealt with each transition, etc. I enjoyed the first half of the book leading up to their first adoption. But when they adopted the next 2 girls in 1 years time, I thought they were a little crazy. I guess the parts I related to most where the parts that matched my current situation. She compared her pregnancy with her first daughter to the adoption process. When she was pregnant there were plenty of mothers handing out free advice left and right. A pregnant body was a free invitation for strange women to come up and tell her their birth stories. But in 1995 when this takes place finding adoption advice was a whole different story.

I am pretty lucky I have talked to a couple people who have been through the adoption process and through the power of the internet I have joined 3 chat groups. 1 for Korea adoptions, 1 for adoptions just from the agency we are using and 1 for families in Dayton who have Korean adopted kids who get together for play dates, etc! These women and men in the chat groups are a great source of information. In fact I chated with Mo (Linked Mo's blog off to the side) and found out Mo lives in Medina, OH of all places!

Small world.

I got another book , "Family Bonds, Adoption and the Politics of Parenting" which I will be reading next.

Joys of Paperwork

I wonder as I am now a couple days into the paperwork required for an adoption how many people would have babies naturally if they needed to do this.

The following is my check list for my social worker to approve Dan and I becoming adoptive parents:
1)Request Home Study
2)Fill out ODHS Application for Child Placement Form - this is a 6 page form that asks you basic info like who you are, your job, your pay, what your house is like, where will kids sleep, what school would they go to, what car(s) do you have, do you have pets, do you run a home business, where have you lived for the past 10 years, where have you worked the past 10 years, then 2 pages of 'what kind of child would you consider' regards to age, sex and race and then 4 references
3) Signed Service Agreement Form and $1200
4) BCI Fingerprinting for each adult
5) FBI Fingerprinting for each adult
6) Verification of Training completed in the following areas: The Adoptive Process, Child Development, Separation & Loss, Dealing with Behavioral Changes, Cultural Issues, Adoption Related Issues
7) Medical Statement for each adult to see if we have a serious or chronic illness, sought treatment for mental health issues, any alcohol or drug abuse issues. Any hereditary diseases, did any parent, grandparent or sibling die young?
8) Ohio State Child Abuse Clearing Form stating we have no charges against us
9) 4 Reference letters
10) Autobiography for each adult explaining our childhood, our best/worst qualities, how we met our spouse, their best/worst qualities, how we were disciplined, how we plan to discipline, why we want to adopt, describe our fertility problems, what hobbies we have, what our saddest and happiest memories are and does our family support us in adoption.
11) Financial Statement with last 3 years 1040 tax forms, employer verification letters, bank statements
12) Guardianship Plan for our children should something happen to us
13) Child Characteristics Checklist - this one makes you feel guilty - 5 pages of medical problems that you 'will consider' or 'will not consider'. This is weird, I know if I had a child that had these issues I would deal with any of them, I could do specialized home care with NG Tubes, trachs, etc but even though I could do it, Why would anyone choose to do it? Anyways, I felt kinda bad on this but only put will consider things I feel are easily correctable like some mild speech issues, allergies, mild vision or hearing issues, corrective orthopedic issues. Plus that form is generic for people doing adoption or foster care and alot had to do with older kids not infants.
14)Safety Audit - Make sure everything is safe and infant proofed
15) Fire Inspection - Done by the local fire department - Make sure we have smoke detectors and such
16) Copy of the following: driver's license, auto insurance, marriage license, health insurance, evacuation plan, pet vaccination records, birth certificate
17) Picture of Family and House
18) Fill out form I-600a from the CIS (Citizenship and Immigration services)


Whew! Once all that is done then we get to meet the social worker in our home for some one on one and group interviews. Then the social worker writes up her report and weeks later we turn it in to the adoption agency... We then begin more paperwork.

Changing to Korea

Ok, when Dan and I came to the decision to start the adoption process we knew that we were interested in Asian countries mainly. When we had 2 friends tell us stories of China adoptions and that made us feel good about choosing China as our country but after seriously researching this over the last week (I am talking spreadsheets and reading tons of websites and joining about 5 different chat groups) I think that I feel better with Korea. We both want to stay with Asian countries over South American or African, so our choices were basically: China, South Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan or Thailand.

Here is a simple comparison of the 2 countries (China and Korea)

Average Age of Child at placement: China-10-14 months, Korea - 9-12 months
Gender: China mostly girls, Korea slightly more boys than girls
Average total cost: China $22,000, Korea $25,000
Care of Child: China mainly orphanage, Korea foster care after first couple weeks in an orphanage
Medical Care: China - depends on region, orphanage. Korea - excellent medical care on par with USA standards
Average Wait from start to finish: China - 22months-36months, Korea - 14-18months

Really after looking at that breakdown, and alot more factors I wont bore you with, Korea just seems like a better option. The wait is shorter, the babies are kept in foster families instead of large orphanages so developmental delays are far less common and I think a couple thousand more dollars is worth it if you look at long term success and health of the child.

Both programs are very stable and that's also a key factor for us. So we are now looking into agencies and talking to people online who have used various agencies so we find a good fit for us. I have also been reading alot of blogs. My favorite one so far is listed on my links section (A holding pattern) Here is a post that really sticked out to me. It describes when the family was about to get their adoptive son at the agency office in Seoul and the foster mom who had been raising him (her 5th foster child but 1st one where she met with the adoptive parents):

At 1:45, we left to walk the 2 blocks to the H01t Korea office. This would be the last block we would walk as a mere couple. The last door we would walk through.

When we arrived, Munchkin was in one of the ground-level playrooms with his foster mother and the social worker. It seemed like they were wrapping up some paperwork. We took final photos together. His foster mother gave us even more gifts - more outfits for Munchkin, all his favorite toys, and a music box. Over the course of three days, she had given us so many gifts that I was profoundly embarrassed. I wish I had brought more gifts for her.

His foster mother was so sad. Tears ran down her face, as she silently stroked Munchkin's cheeks and gave him final kisses. She was worried, and gave us lots of final instructions. Make sure we put cream under his knees. He loves bath time. He needs a bottle in 1 hour, about 5 oz. He doesn't usually cry unless something is wrong. Make sure we have umbrellas and a hat for Munchkin when we go to the airport on Sunday. Make sure he is bundled up when we go outside. She cried. I cried.

Not every foster parent is going to be like that obviously but if given the choice I would want my future child raised by a family than an orphanage. That ended up being the major factor, plus the shorter time frame that made us switch from China to Korea.

Meeting with Becky, Todd & Micah

Today Dan and I met with one of his fellow PhD students, LtCol Todd Venema. Todd and his wife Becky adopted a baby boy, Micah, from China 5 months ago. They have 3 natural children ages 10-6 and wanted to add to their family through adoption. It was a really nice meeting over lunch talking about their experience in China, the process of adoption, paperwork involved and how the military can help. We really learned alot about the process today! They got Micah 5 months ago and their start to finish time for paperwork and waiting took about 17 months, the normal is 24 months but Micah was a special needs baby so they got him a little sooner. He had a deformity of his right ear (very hard to even notice and the left works just fine) where the middle ear doesn't connect the outer ear to the inner ear. It was fun to meet Micah, like most little 20 month old babies he was crawling/walking around the floor and enjoyed eating cheerios and baby food. I think as we move forward through this process Todd and Becky will be great resources for local agencies and how to get through the military side of things with all the paperwork that the Air Force likes to have.

It was really nice to talk with them and hear that if they could do it again with China they would. They said the system in place there is really good and that compared to most other countries China was one of the best. They also said Vietnam & Ukraine were the other countries they had it narrowed down to. So I think I will do a little research on them as well.

One place they recommended using that sticked out to me as a nurse was the IAC in Cincinnati.
Its in connection with the children's hospital in Cincinnati who focuses entirely on adopted children and their special adaptation and development needs from being in foster care or an orphanage. They were really impressed with the team of therapists who evaluated Micah's health paperwork prior to adoption and after he was brought home. They work with the kids for months afterward and Micah has made tremendous strides in just 5months getting into the normal range in 4/5 categories they focus on.

Well thats all from today. Over the next month or so I will be researching as much as I can and filling out a ton of paperwork for the Homestudy process.

Adoption

I have always felt that even if I could have a child or children naturally that adopting a child would be a wonderful experience. I have spoke with a co-worker of Heather's who has adopted 2 girls from China and Dan has spoken with a co-worker who recently adopted a boy from China. They both were eager to meet with us to answer any questions we had and describe the process. They both said it was a wonderful and amazing experience and that was really nice to hear. Susan, Heather's friend, highly recommended the agency they used so today I contacted them about information and an application. The time period is very long from start to finish, over 2 years, so we are going to get started!

The adoption agency is http://www.lavida.org/

Another CD 3 ultrasound (10/25/07)

Well my second CD3 ultrasound showed not one, but two cysts on my right ovary. Left ovary is fine. So of course no clomid, etc this month. Since I have had 2 months in a row with cysts they are going to put me on birth control for a month to attempt to "flush the cysts out". Repeat an ultrasound sometime between Nov 12-15 (we plan on leaving for Maryland on the 13th for Debbie's wedding so I will probably try and get it that morning before we leave.). One cyst was the same one as last month which hasn't gone anywhere, a left over cyst from who knows when that wont go away for some reason. The other one was a corpus leutum which is a normal cyst that forms after ovulation so I guess I didn't wait long enough when I medically induced my period because my body was about to do it anyways, granted we get in a catch-22 if we just sit around and wait for weeks on my body to work right.

Its kinda depressing to get your hopes up for these ultrasounds only to find out you cant start the process to even give you a shot a becoming pregnant.

First CD3 Ultrasound (9/7/07)

September 7th 2007, my first CD 3 ultrasound. I was very excited today to start the process. The image on the left shows a normal ovary with several small follicles on it

I had 5 nice little follicles on one ovary and probably another 4 on the other however it also had a 20x22 hemorrhagic cyst on it.

Cysts are usually just “leftovers”. The normal cysts of ovulation dissolve away just before the period. An ultrasound on day 2 or day 3 usually shows no cysts. There should be small follicles but nothing over about 10 mm. However, sometimes the scan shows larger cysts. If the cyst is producing estrogen (can’t tell by looking), the clomid cycle can’t start. Taking fertility drugs will do nothing more than make the cyst bigger.

So now I wait, no more drugs or ultrasounds this month. Hopefully my body will naturally dissolve the cyst. I need to call them back on my next CD1.

Fertility Doctor

Decided to go to an actual fertility center to address this problem 1 year after my 1st pregnancy since it was now about 3 years of trying to get, and maintain, a pregnancy.
Here is what happened:

Well Dan and I had a nice long meeting today with my new Fertility Doctor. We sat down in his office and went over all the lab tests from Dan and I and came up with a plan for having a baby. He said there is no overwhelming reason why we cant make a baby naturally based on the labs. Said normal couples have a 20% chance but since we have tried basically unsuccessfully for almost 3 years now that our chance is more in 9% range. Based on the fact that my cycles are kinda irregular (anywhere from 30-38 days in between and only lasting like 2 days) and Dan's sperm count while in the normal range is on the lower side of normal (his was 30million and normal is 25-50million) we are going to start right off with medicines and insemination. The success rate for a combo of ovulation meds & intrauterine insemination (IUI) is 60-75% which is nice to hear. Course that is just pregnancy success, you still have chance for miscarry and stuff. Anyways I am pretty excited that we have an actual plan.

Day 1 (first day of period) - Call the doctor and tell them, hey its Cycle Day 1 (here on out called CD 1)

CD 3 - Ultrasound -- they want to check out my follicles and my uterine lining..sounds fun. make sure I don't have any cysts or other issues going on. If the anatomy checks out I start the meds.

CD 3 - Begin Clomid once a day until CD 7

CD 12 - Another ultrasound to make sure my follicles have reached the desired size, if not large enough I come back in 2-3 days. If they are of the right size I get to inject myself with HCG. HCG basically stimulates ovulation which in 90% of women cause them to ovulate between 36 and 40 hours from the injection time.

CD 14 assuming the ultrasound was good I take my shot that night and come in the morning of the 14th day for IUI.

Dan has to produce a sample in the lovely sample room, they then cleanse and concentrate the sperm. About an hour later they place it in me and I get to lay there for a couple hours reading a book or something.

CD 21 Lab work

CD 28 take a home pregnancy test. If positive I call the doctor. they will continue to monitor me up until week 12 where they will turn me over to an OB/GYN monitoring progesterone levels and trying to make sure I don't miscarry basically. If negative I call them on my next day 1 and start the process all over again. They said they typically will do 4 cycles before they move up the ladder of things to try.

Moved to Ohio, got pregnant!

We moved to Dayton, Ohio in August 2006. Actually got pregnant in August 2006 but it turned to be a blighted ovum. A blighted ovum is a common type of miscarriage. It happens when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but the resulting embryo either stops developing very early or doesn't form at all. On November 13th (12 weeks) I had a D&C preformed. Although I was 12 weeks along really the pregnancy was only ~6 weeks developed according to the ultrasound.

Good news is Heather after a miscarriage of her own became pregnant again and later had a wonderful baby boy!

History

I felt like writing out this blog to keep track of my plan for fertility treatment and for adoption. A history of Allison & Dan's desire to have children. We got married in December 2003. In May 2004 we decided to start trying to have children. We were stationed at Fort Walton Beach at the time and Dan was on his first assignment with the Air Force and was traveling alot so the timing was poor to say the least. In May 2006 we did our first fertility workups. This included lab work for hormone levels, semen analysis and a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) to check my fallopian tubes out. We did these tests at the Air Force base with a OB/GYN. The tests showed nothing overwhelming wrong with us, so we didn't start any medicine or any further testing at this time.